Thanksgiving!

Things I am Thankful for:
My kids (all 4 of them LOL)
A wonderful home, if crazy!
Matt
Our supportive family and friends
Therapy for Shea and that I can be home to make sure he gets what he needs
Our animals, even when I wish to put ducktape over their mouths!
That we don't have debt other then our mortgage

Gluten Free Casein Free Diet (GFCF)

So I am biting the bullet and starting "The Diet". With it helping so many kids how can one NOT try it. According to Shea's OT 80% of children with Autism have digestive issues also. I have a number for a doctor that looks into the kid's diet and whether they have certain metals in their system etc. Unfortunately he is in Sartell which is north of St Cloud. His OT may have a chiropractor who does the same thing, hopefully closer.

So I ordered a bunch of Gluten Free mixes/flours from Amazon, will be going to Coborns to check out their GFCF/organic section which I guess is very good. I also talked with another mother of an Autistic boy who has been doing the diet for 4 or more years. I also purchased some rice milk from the store. I am going to try to avoid soy as there is some question about its effects and with his paternal grandmother being allergic I don't want to invite any problems.

So I have started the Rice Milk and plan on doing some cooking this weekend. Hopefully I will get the stuff I ordered so I can get to it. The hard part will be cutting out cheese. Eggs are okay but cheese is a no go on the diet. Then they want us to try the diet for 3-6 months to see if it works or not. Should be interesting. On a good note Ghirdelli makes a GFCF chocolate chips!

Wish us luck!

A Ray of Hope

Well I went to an Autism Support Group that meets once a month in Albertville. I caught it on an off day as the person who runs it is having a family crisis, they didn't have anyone to watch the kids (I didn't bring ours so not a major problem for me.) I think they need to have a sign to stop one woman from monopolizing the meeting about her other personal issues that do not have to do with Autism but as it was my first time there it certainly wasn't my place.

One thing they talked about is that with the early interventions many children are being moved from being Autistic as having Aspergers. I guess a few colleges/universities in the countries are also starting programs for people with Autism. The U of MN is looking into it or starting one soon. It gives me even more hope for Shea's future. Of course I think all of our children are brillant, it is just a matter of finding what works for all of them.

Cody's Conference

Last night was Cody's Kindergarten conference. We brought Cody with since he wanted to purchase some books from the bookfair. He is doing awesome, in fact one of her top students. Ms. Sniezek told us since she now has her lower students more caught up she is going to start pulling Cody and others out for more advanced work. As she said he will still have to do the "boring work." LOL. For Kindergarten they want the students to count to 115 by the end of the year, he got to 101. At which time my guess is he got bored. Ms. Sniezek believes gifted and talented begins in 1st grade, I hope so. And I am going to look for some 1st grade work books for him. He is also beginning to read and loving it.

We also got to speak with his gym teacher who had nothing but good things to say about Cody. With 420 students lots of them he only sees once a week he knew right away who Cody was. The joys of only having him in 1/2 day Kindergarten. That is the one thing I wish there were more time for is art, gym and music. But at least he can do many of those things at home. Not exactly worth it to rush him into school and pay thousands of dollars for those few things.

And his Karate school is going to come to his school for a week in December. Cody will be ahead of the class there. Speaking of Karate I am now searching for pads for him. With him being a gold belt they want him to have him for class for safety. I am searching for them online and so far they will be much cheaper then buying them through the school. Man I wish I could wait until Christmas! Would be nice for people to get him that stuff rather then spending yet more money!

After conferences we dropped Cody off and Matt and I got a dinner out together! Nothing like getting out together once every two months. We really need to work on that.

Halloween!

Pictures

Skye's 6th Month Checkup

My Baby Girl is getting SO big! She had her 6 month appointment on 10/27/08. Grandma Kelly watched Shea and I can't tell you how glad of that I am since we waited 45 minutes! Anyways she actually is a little peanut!

Height: 24.5" 10-25th percentile(if she continues on this path she will be my height around 5'1" and yes I realize this is not a lot of height!)

Weight: 13lbs 7.5oz She only gained 3oz! 10 percentile

Head: 41 cm 10-25th

To put it in comparison

Shea's numbers at 6 months: Height-26 inches (50-75%), Weight 16 lbs 2.5 oz (50-75%), Head 44 1/2 cm (95%)

Cody's: Height 27 inches, Weight 17lbs 11oz

Since she is not growing as I would like I worked on her to take a bottle. Now she is taking 3-5 bottles a day and I think she has gained a pound or more! Yeah now MOM can take a break, Yeah right! On October 28th she started to sit up, although not for long. Monday Nov 3rd she has started to crawl/lunge.

Will it ever settle down?

Received Shea's OT Eval in the mail today. Also went to our Autism class last night. Right now I am just feeling very overwhelmed and sleep deprived. Definitely not easy to meet everyone's needs. And scheduling is a nightmare, the OT eval wants OT twice a week and the person we have speech with works the one day a week the other place does not schedule appointments on! YIKES! I am hoping to get all the services under one place BUT it probably won't be the place I want them at. Figures. But I cannot be driving to Maple Grove, 25 minutes away with 3 kids 3 times a week AND get Cody to Kindergarten on time every day! Calgon take me away!

Okay now I will take a breath and just remind myself things WILL get better! And all this is necessary for Shea's improvement. At the meeting last night some of the parents (they are the volunteers that run the classes) were telling us of challenges they have encountered and what they have done to overcome them. All I could think was about how I don't want to have to do all that! Plus I just hope things are quite as difficult for us as they have been for others.

On a positive note if I need a new career path that has a need I have certainly found one!

Another Busy Day

Cody is going to start his gold belt classes today in Karate. This is a big deal since it means moving from the little kids program into the big kids program. I was going to start him tomorrow but Matt and I have a class and I want to take him to his first gold belt class. His belt graduation last Thursday was awesome. He did the moves well and it was a lot of fun. Friday night I went to a friends house and had a blast showing off the video footage I had on the camera. Maybe G-Pop will take him to Karate tomorrow also, we will see. He also wants to do the Karate tournament next month but he will definitely be at a disadvantage as he will be competing against kids who have been gold belt for months and he has just earned his. This happened for the last tournament also, frustrating!

I am also toying with the idea of talking with Cody's school teacher and Karate instructor about his situation at home with a new baby and a brother with Autism. Maybe they can give him a bit more attention and be more understanding when Cody does things for attention. I feel bad that I can't give him more and he does have to deal with his brother's issues. I try to get him involved when I am working with Shea, like bouncing a ball back and forth and making the cars go. But it is hard to do things like read Cody a book with Cody on my lap. Shea will attempt to push him off and have a fit.

So today Shea had his Occupational Therapy Evaluation (OT). Let me tell you there is very little more depressing then having someone point out all the things your child cannot do that he should be able to. We won't even go into the fact of the new insurance Matt's work has is not nearly as good as it was. At least soon Shea will be qualified for supplemental insurance that will pick up all the extra pieces and make things much easier. Anyways the therapist figures he will qualify and get us a copy of the report in a couple of weeks, then we will start going to OT twice every week. Not sure how I am going to pull that one off. I think I may need to pull all the therapies into one place so as to only take him to appointments twice a week and not three. Sounds like they will also be sensitive to his needs for a break and the OT before speech may actually help with the speech. We will see. All the therapists seem fine but I can't say that I have found one that I absolutely love. Which is frustrating. This includes his early intervention teacher through the school district.

But one cool thing was the Therapist did a thing called brushing. OTs use soft plastic brushes and brush firmly so as to not tickle. She brushed Shea's legs, arms and back. Then you press his joints together so you push on his foot while you hold his knee, then push his legs into his hips, his wrists into his elbows and arms into the shoulders. Apparently it helps calm people with sensory issues and center them. When she mentioned brushing I was thinking "Lady What are you talking about, sounds nutty but a long as it doesn't hurt him let's see what it is all about." So we go into this dressing room while she preforms this and low and behold he really did settle down. So now I/we are to do this every couple of hours. Hopefully it will help him to sleep also. She also let him bit on this early tooth brush thing and then massaged the top of his mouth. He started drooling, which since he is not a drooly kid was odd. But as he is an oral kid (meaning he puts lots of things in his mouth and that probably sooths him) this may help also.

Life really is NOT only about Shea

Cody now has enough stripes for his gold belt. He will be joining the big kids starting next week! I hope that this can be some nice alone time for Cody and either Matt or myself depending on who brings him. The classes are later so Matt will be home and the other kids don't have to go.

Little Missy will not let me put her down in the afternoons. Making it very difficult to get ANYTHING done! And here we have a family gathering on Saturday. The house is going to be a wreck, although everyone coming is used to that LOL.

Matthew's baseball tournement was rescheduled to this Sunday. Noon at the Zachary fields they will play until they lose. If this team is like many of his others they will do well now and were terrible during the season. Go figure.

Matt and I went on a Pub Mosey for a couple hours on Sunday. Poor Matt I was supposed to drive, unfortunately I took some migraine medication and after 1.5 lite beers knew there was NO WAY I was going to be driving. Better safe then sorry, even if it wasn't fair to him.

All About Shea and Autism

Seems like I really need to update this but at the same time am unsure of what to post. Tomorrow night Matt and I start a class that meets every Tuesday in October about Autism for 3 hours each week. It is hosted through the Autism Society of MN which is affiliated with the Autism Society of America or some such thing. Should be interesting. Currently on a holding pattern for so many things. On Sat I am going to go check out an Autism support group. Matt can come if he would like as there is child care, we will see if he wants to or just wants me to check it out the first time. I will also be letting a friend know how it went as she is having her son evaluated for Autism the end of this month.

Waiting to hear back from the county, should hear back this week. Will also be sending in the application for supplemental insurance for Shea, that will pay for personal care assistance. Not sure how many hours a week.

Shea started his private speech therapy through Children's Clinics in Maple Grove on Friday. He is still getting used to the speech pathologist, although he did hand her something which is very impressive. Took months before he handed his special ed teacher anything.

Next Monday we have our Occupational Therapy Evaluation but this one will be through North Memorial as they can get us in before Children's can. They are also in Maple Grove however they are NOT in the new hospital.

TGIF!?

Hmm I am currently having one of those days. Have a headache, but since it is a beautiful day tried to go for a walk. Unfortunately Skye decided to scream the whole way. After 10 minutes I gave up, so all told my hour walk was only 20 minutes. Currently she is happy with a bottle while I hide out in the den.

In reading some of the articles about Autism one of the problems many people have are sleeping issues. Many don't ever get a good nights sleep, honestly with a baby I am not sure how I will handle this one. Both Matt and I are very sleep deprived and even if I get one child to take a nap the other wakes up. Okay enough whining. I did meet with the Wright County intake social worker, she figures we will qualify for case management services. Which will be very nice as they know about the waivers and grants that will hopefully pay or at least help pay for some of the therapies insurance doesn't cover. I guess they also have grants to help families with safety features like a fence and door alarms. As we probably will need one and I have NO idea where we would come up with the money for one I am very glad we may be able to get help.

Busy weekend coming up here. Friends and my mom are coming over for dinner, hope I have enough lasagna. Then tomorrow Matthew has a scrimmage, I am picking up food from the Angel Ministries thing. I am anxious to see how that turns out. Then later tomorrow Shea has his first birthday party. Not sure how that will go but I figure we will try it and we can always leave if we need to. Sunday we have 2 baseball games for Matthew (2 and 4 O'clock at Zachary) Should be his final games but you never know with baseball if they are going to sneak championships in or anything.

On a good note the Twins won over the Chicago White Sox so we are ahead in our division. Now we just need to continue to win the final three games against Kansas City.

Last night Cody earned another black stripe so he currently has 3 black stripes and one red. On Thursday Oct 9th he will graduate to the Yellow Belt and start attending the Juniors program. He could have earned it this month but I didn't feel it was in his best interest with school just starting up and getting back on a schedule. As there have been times he was very squirrelly I am very glad I didn't let him go to gold belt. If he continues he may end up a very young black belt.

Hunt for Therapies for Shea

Let me tell you when you are beginning this journey it is all about waiting and more waiting. I think however I have a plan in place that I am happy with. I could be put on waiting lists for day treatments that last over 4 hours 5 days a week but I don't feel they are best for Shea at this time. Something that was reinforced by a social worker I know who works for Minneapolis Public Schools with the Early Childhood Special Ed. In fact last year Minneapolis tried a toddler day treatment/preschool plan and found it just didn't work.

So here is my plan and what I have started:

This Friday Shea goes for his first Private Speech Eval/Appointment at Children's in Maple Grove. Then they will continue every Friday for an hour.

I have a schedule Occupational Therapy Eval with North Hennepin but if Children's in Maple Grove can get him in sooner or around the same time I would prefer to keep everything through that network.

Continue with the school district's Early Interventions (Okay NOT really the school district but that is how I refer to it. It is a cooperative with Sherbourne and Wright counties.) Since he turns 3 in May either next summer or next fall he will start special ed with the school district in their preschool program which will be every day for a half day, probably around 3 hours every school day. As it gets closer to that time I will research how they are compared to other options like day treatment. Although I am very happy that this year they have separated the children according to disability/needs. If they had not I think I would have been putting him in a different program.

I have been in contact with MEAP (Minnesota Early Autism Project.) They provide home based services I believe around an hour a week, that focuses on the DIR therapy. Also know as Floortime by Dr. Stanley Greenspan. I will discuss this more later in this post or another post.

I have a call in to the county for case management services which should help us in case we need TEFRA or Medical Assistance for Shea. At this point Matt has great coverage for him and the boys but that could change by Nov 1st. The county may also be able to help us with Personal Care Assistance (PCA) for Shea, where someone would come and work with him and look after him. I could then have more time to focus on the other kids and maybe even do an errand.

I also have an e-mail out to a local support group so I am going to check those out. As Cody gets older I may get him involved in his own group for children with siblings with special needs. We will see what is needed at a later time.

Matt and I may also take a class through the Autism Society of MN www.ausm.org I have heard great things about them.

And if my wanders ever take me in the southern direction I would like to check out the Autism Resource Network which is a store in Hopkins with toys that are good for kids with Autism. 952-988-0088 (putting the number here more for my own benefit now I won't lose it LOL) they must also have a website you can order from.

If you are looking for another good website with info www.autismspeaks.org

Yesterday I called the social worker I talked about at the beginning of this post. We chatted about Shea's diagnoses was and what I am doing. She feels I am doing all the correct things and haven't left anything out. She also has my e-mail addy so if a workshop comes up or she learns something she feels will assist me she will e-mail me the info. She also recommended joining the Autism Society of MN that I listed above.

ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis or something similar)vs DIR (akaFloortime)
Now I haven't had a TON of time to research these methods but I have a vague idea of them. I will be researching more and taking what I want from each. From what I have read I am more of a fan of Floortime as it advocates getting down on the child's level and figuring out a way to engage them and draw them out. Dr. Stanley Greenspan created it. It just makes more sense to me to get the child to WANT to interact with you instead of conditioning the child to respond. Although I am sure I have and will use some ABA practices.

Honestly we will see how many hours I can devote to any therapy as it is Shea and I will be spending at least 4 hours a week in transit or at appointments with another 1 hour now and hopefully at least 1 hours more later of in home help. The recommended level is 20+ hours so it is pretty intensive.

Misc Ramblings

I want to thank everyone for their support. There is much going on and it means a lot.

Cody is now getting picked up by the bus for Kindergarten right across our driveway. As he is on the small side the driver was worried about when the snow banks get too high where they had him. So now he waits in our driveway for the bus and walks across the road when she stops. Our bus driver is a wonderful caring woman. What a great positive bus experience for Cody. Actually the bus system has been pretty good, even when Cody decided to go for a longer ride on the first Friday of school. I was waiting for him to get off at his stop but was behind the bus driver. When Cody didn't get off the driver couldn't see me waiving to him. So I went inside and called the bus company. Cody was home within 10 minutes. Of course I can totally see how he could miss the stop as the bus seats are taller then him and I don't think he sits by the window so he really can't see outside. I am very grateful to live in a smaller community for experiences like this. I also asked the neighbor boy to keep an eye on him and make sure he gets off when he does.

Yesterday Dr. McLellan complimented Matt and I on our instincts in parenting Shea and to keep it up. It was nice to get positive feedback by a medical professional. He also said that with therapy it may be possible for Shea to go to mainstream classes when he is in school with an aide so while there will be much work to do the outlook for him is very positive. It shall be an interesting journey. I am also hoping for some services from the county where an aide will work with/take care of Shea while I/we work/attend to our other children. Also so that we can do more things as a family and have Shea cared for by someone who understands the challenges he has. Right now there are many times we do what I classify as a divide and conquer where one parent takes the other kids to an event and one of us stays home with Shea since we know he can't handle certain situations. We also plan on getting the whole family on board to help engage Shea in playing, I am hoping this will help the kids feel more involved in Shea's care and also help with any feelings of being left out and not getting as much attention.

Shea's Day at the Developmental Specialist

Well it is now offical Shea does indeed have mild to moderate Autism. The good news is we can work on getting him more help. Dr. McLellan asked us lots of questions and observed Shea for an hour and a half. We had also sent in a copy of his IFSP and questionaires we had filled out. The doctor asked if we thought he may have Autism, in fact as he was ticking off all the things Shea does not have I was just waiting for him to get to the Autism part. Now finally people can stop looking at me as though I am nuts and have no clue when I tell them I believe Shea has Autism. (Which just happened to me last night.)

Shea had to have blood drawn so they can rule out chromosome abnormalities and Fragile X syndrome. Dr. McLellan also does want me to have his hearing checked even though he thinks if there is any hearing loss it is very minimal. Again I think they just want all the bases covered. Having blood drawn was NOT fun, but they certainly are good at what they do at Children's Hospital. I held him while the tech figured out which vein she needed to use. She could see he was going to fight and was strong so she got help before she even attempted the needle. Well the kid is strong enough to stop the blood going into the needle. Crazy and not fun so we are glad that is done. The tech made sure I knew that if they need to take blood from him again to use his right arm.

Dr. McLellan figures that with therapy and work it is entirely possible for Shea to be in a main stream classroom with an aide. His recommendations were:

Continue Early Childhood Special Ed and push them to give us more services and add Autism to the eval.

Begin private speech and Occupational therapy

Begin to explore center based programs to supplement the ECSE like St. Davids, Fraser, Holland Center, Lazarus Project and whatever other ones we can find.

Consider Relationship Developmental Intervention (RDI)

Ask county for Developmental Disability Case Management Services

Then we will return to the clinic in 6 months and have a follow up appointment.

Now off to do some of the things on the list!

Cody's First Day of School!

When is life ever without snags? All of us went to wait for Cody's bus at 10:50 only to wait and wait and well wait some more. Finally dad went in and called the bus service, bus was running a half hour late! (Later I learned that a boy was dropped off at home instead of at Grandma's so they had to go find the child and get him to the rightful place.) Since that would put him very late for his first day of school I drove him while dad stayed with the other two. I took advantage of the situation and snapped a picture of Cody with his teacher.

I would have cried but things were too manic with rushing him to school, then I went and picked up lunch for Shea, dad and I and a treat for Cody for later. When I just started my errand I was just going to get an iced coffee from McDonald's. OH well win some, loose some.

When Cody got home he reported school was "fine". Ah gotta love the details children give us. While he got into some trouble for not listening and then I found out he had written on the walls in his brother's room (on a different day). After his time out and playing outside I did allow him to have his treat.

Busy Month

Well it has been a very busy month this month. Skye is pushing herself all over the place when left of the ground and is having a blast in the exersaucer. Friday August 22nd she had her 4 month check up and shots. She is now 24 1/2 inches tall (50-75 percentile), 13 lbs 4.5 oz (50%) and her head circumference was 40 cm (50%). The nurse really adored her name and was surprised at how strong she is. Dad and I believe that she may very well be walking before Cody did at 8 months! Maybe I should go see the earliest a child has ever walked!

Cody is all ready for school and fitting in last minute playdates with friends and family. He is excited for school and I am unsure how I am going to let go. It isn't Kindergarten as the grade that is going to be hard but it is the start of a new journey in his life which takes him away from me to lead him on his own path. In addition Cody has decided that he and Matthew share a room. When Matthew is not here he sleeps in Matthew's bed, if Matthew is here he sleeps on the floor next to Matthew's bed. (can you tell he loves his big brother?)

Shea has breached the confines of his crib!!!!!! Yikes what will we do. At least door knobs have not been figured out yet, but he is already exploring those.

Matthew's fall ball has started, he plays on Sundays through most (if not all) of Sept. While I believe he is having fun with fall ball he is NOT looking forward to school. I am not sure how Matthew feels about Cody moving into his room but it certainly does solve our room dilemma. We will see if it lasts.

Matt and I are playing fall ball double headers. G-Pop and Kelly are helping a lot with watching the kids with Nate and Gumbyduh filling in. In addition to work and raising kids the rental home is changing from one renter to another so have been very busy with that in getting it rented, cleaned, inspected by the city and section 8 (assisted housing) and putting a different washer and dryer in the unit. I have also been working with a few real estate clients, but it seems in this market nothing is ever easy, even having very good buyers. I think Matt and I need a vacation.

Off to the Saints Game

We took Cody to the Saints Game on Monday. Shea and Skye went to Granny Lynn and Grandpa Yaeger's house. I wasn't sure how it would go as Shea is only used to a few homes, at the same time figured he really does need to get used to other homes also. Shea did well, Skye not the happiest but all survived.

Cody had a blast at the tailgating party, was shy at first then running all over putting ice down peoples backs LOL. He and the hosts youngest daughter Anya were thick as thieves, very cute! He didn't like the food so dad spoiled him with a hotdog, which lead of course to a drink and then the cotton candy man tempted him. So we used the cotton candy as a bribe for him to eat the hotdog he deemed as "icky" He also played on the playset they had there. I think we watched 10 minutes of the game.

As we were leaving I found $27 on the ground. As I didn't see who dropped it I did keep it. I am going to use part of it and pick up school supplies for needy children. The rest will either go into our vacation fund, or knowing me the kid's bank accounts.

Well Skye has decided to Roll over from her back to her stomach. Probably wouldn't be so bad if she would not get stuck there. Little Missy has QUITE the temper! Poor Cody has been put on Skye duty once today to ensure she did not roll over onto her stomach while I got something accomplished. Now I am not sure how I am going to make cookies for our tailgating party at the Saints (semi pro baseball) game........

Very 1st Post

Well here I have done it, stepped into blogging land. Now we will hope I can keep up with it.

We are a household of 4 children, 2 adults and 2 cats.

Matthew is 11 and we share him with his Mother and Step dad. His interests are baseball, basketball, TV, video games and avoiding school work.

Cody is 5 and starts Kindergarten this year. He is our smart wily one, usually getting into mischief but then melts you with his smile. He loves swimming, Karate and playing at the park. He tried T-Ball this year but I think it bored him. Within the next couple of months he will be joining the big kids Karate classes as a Gold Belt.

Shea is 2 and believes everything was put into this world for him to climb on. His adorable curls make it very difficult for mom to have his hair cut.

Skye is now 3 months old has big grins, adorable giggles and HATES to sleep. Takes after brother Cody with the sleeping part. Now we will hope she sleeps through the night soon.

Mom, me aka Carmen keeps busy trying to keep everyone elses schedules straight in addition to selling real estate and maintaining one rental home. Dad aka Matt is busy with many hours at work and softball.

Rounding out our household are 2 fat cats, Phantom and Shadow. The kids hope that a dog will soon be added, mom and dad are not too sure about the work to put into one....